One Movie I Will NOT Be Seeing

If I have to hear about this Mr. Woodcock movie one more time, I think I'm going to vomit. It all started the other day when I saw a preview for it on TV. I was disgusted, but I didn't worry about it too much seeing as it looks to be possibly the dumbest movie ever and hopefully I would never hear about it again. I was terribly, terribly wrong.

Part of my job is formatting a Movies Newsletter. As I started looking through the new movie reviews to go into the newsletter today, much to my dismay I found that Mr. freakin' Woodcock was part of the lineup. This doesn't really surprise me as we review most new movies. Of course, we did not give it a good review. But still, I had to hear about it again, which was unfortunate. And I had to see the poster image which was even more unfortunate. Out of good taste, I'm not going to post this image here.

So I finished my newsletter, hoping to never have to hear about this movie again, when I find an email sitting in my inbox from New Line Cinema informing me that "Mr. Woodcock is now in theatres." Fabulous. Thank you for letting me know.

Now, why do I hate this movie so much? Besides the fact that it basically slaps you in the face with obscenity, what really upsets me is that it insults my intelligence and the intelligence of the entire world. If the mere title is so painfully obvious in its attempt to be funny, that it turns out completely unfunny, what are we to expect from the movie itself? Do we really have to be so blatantly obscene in order to be funny these days? Is this the only way we can get attention? It reminds me of this exchange between Bart and Homer Simpson one day when Homer is looking after Moe's:

Bart: I'd like to speak to a Mr. Tabooger, first name Ollie.
Homer: (excited) Ooh! My first prank call! What do I do?
Bart: Just ask if anyone knows Ollie Tabooger.
Homer: I don't get it.
Bart: Yell out "I'll eat a booger"
Homer: What's the gag?
Bart: Oh, forget it...

When you have to be that obvious about a joke, it's not even a joke anymore!

Needless to say I do not plan on wasting my money on this film, nor can I fathom how anyone would want to, though I imagine there are millions of 12 year old boys out there (and possibly adults with severely underdeveloped senses of humor) who cannot wait to see it. I pity them.