I've never been the most extroverted person. I don't stop and talk to random people on the street. I don't like pesky sales people. I regularly avoid the greeters at church (Not that they're not great people or they're not doing a great service for the church. I just don't want to talk to them).
Ever since I've had a baby, though, I've been forced get comfortable with these sorts of interactions. Given the fact that my child is the cutest ever (just my opinion), people regularly stop and talk to her, or me. This happens so often that one day at the zoo, so many people were looking at her in the stroller that my mom thought something was wrong with her. I told her it's pretty normal.
I didn't realize the effect this was having on me until one day when I had the chance to go to Aldi by myself. Grocery shopping without baby is pretty exciting--I'm extremely efficient, not having to constantly try to keep the baby quiet or stop her from pulling tampons out of my purse.
So there I was at Aldi, enjoying my time alone, and I had this strange feeling. Something just wasn't right. I wasn't as happy as I thought I should be during my solo shopping trip. Then it hit me: No one is paying attention to me! I'm walking around, trying to make eye contact and smiling at people, but they're not even looking at me. It's like I'm invisible.I guess I'm just a big nobody without my child!
This revelation left me a little disgusted with myself--I'm dependent on the attention my child gets! I'm such a loser. I never imagined that I'd be looking for regular interaction with strangers. I used to be so confident and happy to keep to myself. Now I'm just plain needy. I guess it's true that having a baby will change you in many ways. But I'm still going to avoid the greeters at church.
1 comment:
it's been awhile since i've caught upon blogs i used to follow much more regularly... so i'm seeing this post today.
and (despite having no kids of my own) i get this.
and i always avoid the greeters at church if i can help it. :)
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