Monday, December 29, 2008

Top Ten Stories of 2008

This time of year everyone does their big lists of the top books/movies/cocktails/evil clown stories of the year, so I figured I'd get in on it. My place of employment (Christianity Today) recently published their Top Ten Stories of 2008 so I thought I'd complement that with my own top ten stories of the year, taken directly from this blog. Also, I didn't feel like writing an actual blog post.

10. In the Ghettoooo. I've written quite a bit out the crazy people that live below us, but in April I decided to take pictures of their mess to prove that, as suspected, we are the Naperville ghetto.

9. Stevie at the Taste. I got to see Stevie Wonder at the Taste of Chicago and it was amazing!! I couldn't see much of the stage, but it was still great. I even got some video.

8. Sheer Silence. After being forced to make awkward small talk with my hair stylist, I unveiled my brilliant business model for a anti-small talk salon.

7. McDonald's Miracle. God uses McDonald's to provide me with the perfect camera bag. Truly a miracle!

6. Kim vs. McDonald's. Another McDonald's story, is that bad? I'm not obsessed. Anyway, after I called McDonald's out last year on their poor choices regarding Happy Meal toys, they conceded this year and gave me exactly what I asked for.

5. Walgreens Weirdness. Last January I encountered a very strange young man at the Walgreens who was disturbingly interested in my scarf. Needless to say, I haven't been back to that Walgreens in some time.

4. Monitor Controversy. While waiting for my new monitor at work, I find that the empty cube next to me got one before I did. Fortunately, I have my monitor now, but I haven't forgotten this incident!!

3. New York, New York. I went to NY and took too many photos. It was amazing!!

2. BAT! 2 a.m., bats, toilets; the makings of a perfect story. I relive this story every time I enter my bathroom. But despite the fact that it was called the "best post ever" by some (Marc), it came in a close second to ...

1. Saturday Surprise. My wonderful boyfriend treated me to a fun surprise for our 6 month anniversary involving chocolate, manicures, Santa, and Chuck-E-Cheese. A pretty perfect day!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Fabulous Saturday!

So I have this great boyfriend, Scott, who's a big fan of surprises. I'm not so good at coming up with them, but he's very creative. So Saturday was our 6 month anniversary and I think he may have outdone himself on the surprise front.

The surprise involved me receiving clues about where to go to get the next clue. Each one had some meaning—either a place we'd been or something we'd talked about. I was scheuffered around downtown Naperville to each destination by our friend Matthew who took it very seriously, dressing in all black with a hat.

At first I was a little concerned about the whole scavenger hunt thing—it seemed like an awful lot of work. Plus I was going to have to talk to the people at each store and I don't really like talking to people. But it turned out to be incredibly fun.

My first stop was a chocolate shop where I got a gift certificate (woo hoo!). My next stop was Barns & Noble where I got a DVD of The Birds, one I've been wanting for awhile.

Then I went to Starbucks where Santa happened to be visiting. I went up to the counter and they told me I had a hot chocolate coming, but Santa had the envelope with my clue in it. Fabulous. I've always been slightly terrified of people in costume ever since I had a few bad experiences at Chuck E Cheese. But I sucked it up and went to talk to Santa. He handed me a candy cane and asked if I had been good. I said of course I've been good, what kind of skank do you think I am?? Actually, I didn't say that. I just played along and exchanged pleasantries and then told him that I was Kim and he was very excited to give me my envelope. Then I got the heck out of there. (I found out later that the Santa thing was not Scott's idea as the Santa was not even there when he went there earlier that morning. The girls at the counter had the brilliant idea of getting Santa involved.)

I had some trouble figuring out the next clue, but I finally realized that it meant a manicure/pedicure for me. Woo hoo!! So we headed over to the nail place where I very much enjoyed having my nails done while Matthew and I chatted. Poor guy.

The next stop was Chuck E Cheese where Matthew gave me a cup of tokens and we played Skee ball obsessively. One of the machines was broken and wasn't giving us tickets so we got a lady to fix it. She opened it up, piddled around in there and then closed it and walked away while it started spewing a massive amount of tickets out. Sweet! I bought Scott some great pirate gear with those tickets.

I couldn't figure out my final clue so Matthew finally just had to take me there and I met up with Scott at the Riverwalk. He had some lovely roses for me.

So overall it was an amazing morning. We followed it up with a delicious dinner at Wildfire and a trip downtown to see Wicked. At Wildfire, we had this middle-aged woman as our waitress who thought she was real cool with her short spikey hair. She asked us if this was our first time there and we said yes and then she asked where we were from. I must have had a "huh" look on my face and I somewhat reluctantly told her Naperville. She addressed my look of confusion by explaining that if it's someone's first time to this restaurant, she assumes they're from out of state because pretty much everyone from the Chicagoland area has been there, it's just that popular. Good heavens, woman! I'm sorry that I'm poor and haven't been able to eat at your fancy pants expensive restaurant until now. I think she got the picture when we paid with our Lettuce Entertain You gift card.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Yes, Barbie IS Realistic

I visited my local Target today to purchase a gift for our toy drive at work. I decided I wanted to buy a Barbie because I just love buying Barbies and I really have no one to buy Barbies for.

I picked up a very nice Vet Barbie and then realized that I should grab a Ken doll too, because as a child I was always short on Kens. It seems most girls run into this problem. We get lots of Barbies with their cute outfits and accessories, but somewhere in there forget to get some Kens. Who are your Barbies going to marry if you don't have enough Kens??

Anyway, as I scanned the aisle for a Ken, I was dismayed to find only 2 Ken options: Beach Fun Ken with real hair and Beach Fun Ken with plastic hair. So, out of the approximately ten thousand Barbie dolls in this aisle, there were two Kens. I was disturbed.

Then it hit me: this Barbie aisle is a painfully accurate reflection of real life. There are millions of beautiful, successful, bikini wearing women in this world all chasing after the same two hot guys in swimming trunks.

When I discussed this with my boyfriend, he, as usual, had a solution:
"Well the problem is all the Barbies want a Ken. They should learn that there are plenty of good GI Joes and Batmans and guys like that if they'd just look past their own isle and into the next one."

I'm not sure if that's exactly profound our not, but it sounds good.

So the next time someone lectures you about how unrealistic Barbies are, don't believe them! What better way to teach your daughters the harsh realities of life and love? There aren't many things more realistic than a bunch of large breasted, skanky women who can't find husbands.