Monday, November 16, 2009

Christian FAIL

Yesterday I went to see Handel's Messiah at Moody Bible Institute. It was exceptional as usual. But one of the most fun parts was a brilliant conversation that came up in the car while trying to get out of the parking garage.

Moody has their own free parking garage and, as one would expect, it's filled with a bunch of Christians. While we sat in line for 15 minutes waiting to get out of the garage, we realized a painful truth: given the Christian aspect of this parking garage, we deduced that most people were trying to be nice by letting everyone else out of their park spots, thereby causing a monstrous backup in the parking garage. This is the problem with Christian parking garages.

This made me think of a website I recently discovered called "Stuff Christians Like" (yes, a parody of "Stuff White People Like"). I think it's safe to say that Christians like to let people out of their parking spaces. It makes us feel nice.

But this lead to a discussion about what other popular blogs Christians could parody (something that Christians also like). And then we came up with the best idea ever: Christian FAIL. Everyone thinks this FAIL Blog thing is so hilarious, but I'm pretty sure a Christian one would be way funnier.

So what is a Christian FAIL? We witnessed a great example when, while still sitting in the monstrous parking garage line, a car ahead of us refused to let someone out of their parking spot, even to the point of going around them. Christian FAIL. Then, shortly after that, we turned a corner in the parking garage to see a very Christian looking couple kissing. Moderately passionately. Holding a baby. In a Christian parking garage. Christian FAIL.

What are some other Christian FAILs? Maybe you forgot to write your tithe check last Sunday. Or maybe you ate your communion cracker right away instead of waiting for everyone else. Or maybe you mixed up Romans 3:23 with Romans 6:23. If I can come up with some good ones, I'm seriously considering starting a blog of them. The possibilities are endless!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Slurpee Pizza

Once upon a time I wrote this blog post about the old people that hung out at my mom's condo pool. In the post I talked about people with potbellies who wear bikinis. As a result of this, I started receiving visitors on my site who had actually typed "Bikini Potbelly" into Google search. I then decided this phrase deserved it's very own post with that title to get even more "Bikini Potbelly" visitors, however misguided they may be. That's the general idea behind this post. I want to see who does a Google search for "Slurpee Pizza."

But there is actually a story behind "Slurpee Pizza" and it involves me acting like a 12 year old boy which isn't necessarily a strange occurrence. What happened was, I was driving home from a Young Adult church retreat in Lake Geneva on Sunday night. As one would expect from a Young Adult church retreat, I had not gotten much sleep. When I don't get much sleep, I'm slap happy.

In the car with me was my fiance, Scott, and our friends Adam and Matt in the back. Somehow the conversation turned to the fact that when Scott and I get married, we were going to change our last name to Pizza. Mr. and Mrs. Pizza. We laughed about this and imagined what we'd name our children—Pepperoni, Sausage, Hawaiian, etc.

Finally that conversation died down and we moved on to my love of Slurpees. We discussed this for awhile and then I heard someone mumble, "Slurpee Pizza." Intense, over-tired, tear inducing laughter followed for a number of minutes. It was immature. And I'm still laughing.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Devil Frog

Remember yesterday when I talked about making devil frog cookies? Well I got a little freaked out when I read this in my devos last night, only hours after writing about the devil frogs:

Then I saw three evil spirits that looked like frogs; they came out of the mouth of the dragon, out of the mouth of the beast and out of the mouth of the false prophet. (Revelation 16:13)


Monday, November 2, 2009


This weekend Scott and I made some fabulous Halloween cookies. I always thought Christmas cookies were where it's at, but Halloween cookies are as good, if not better. I like them because you can be morbid without feeling guilty. I mean, when I made the devil frog for Christmas I felt a little weird about it. But devil frog for Halloween? Of course!

Scott is a creative perfectionist. This makes for some pretty sweet giant Halloween cookies:

I also got in on the decorating action:

Some cookies of note in this picture are the devil mummy ghost with red eyes (in honor of our viewing of The Mummy or old movie night), the polka dot moon, and Scott's witch's broom.

And we got morbid with a bleeding ghost:

Can ghosts bleed? I don't know. But this cookie fell apart so we figured we'd make the best of it. I would like to note that this was Scott's idea. I think I'm prouder than I should be.