Friday, October 22, 2010

Of Old Ladies and Bare Butts

In an effort to get into better shape, I joined a gym where I swim every day after work. Swimming is pure joy for me, but apparently nobody else my age feels this way. Once again, I'm swimming with old people.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind swimming with old people. Most of the things I enjoy doing involve more old people than young people. And I understand that the pool provides the perfect exercise for their fragile bones.

A quality that I really admire in old people is their confidence. Gone are their self-conscious younger years. This is their time to do what they want, who cares what anyone else thinks? I can't wait till I'm old.

But this no-nonsense attitude makes for some ... special moments in the locker room. As a result of their old person freedom, they're not so concerned about covering up when changing in and out of their bathing suits.

Now, a young person can make the bathing suit change pretty quick, before too many people come wandering by. But old ladies, they take their sweet time. They need to sit down. They need to very carefully put on each article of clothing. And they'll probably want to chat, which is detrimental to the quick change.

One time, I walked by the hallway in the locker room that houses the little bathing suit dryer. Lo and behold, I got an eyeful of old lady bare butt. This woman literally stripped down at the dryer and threw her suit in. It takes at least a minute to get ones suit dry. One minute. That's a long time when you're baring your butt for the world to see. Thank heavens she at least had the decency to cover up her front with a small gym towel.

Not quite as extreme, but still funny, one day I was attempting to make my quick change after a swim when an old lady came and sat on the bench next to me, preparing for her long change. I went about my business, trying to get finished as fast as possible when the old lady complimented me on the lovely pink color of my bra. I had mixed feelings. I appreciated bonding with this old lady over pink things. I just kind of wished the pink thing wasn't my bra.