I'm part of a fabulous small group where each week, anyone who wants to can share what they've been reading in their personal devotions and what spiritual insights they've gleaned from it. As a result of this format, we end up discussing a good variety of topics each week.
In our group, I've become known for a talent I have for picking out some of the more ... strange verses in the Bible. They're now known as "Kim Verses." I'm so proud.
I decided that it was selfish of me to only share these amazing portions of the Bible with my small group, so I thought I should share what may be the most awesome story in the entire Bible (besides Jesus dying for our sins and stuff) with the two people that read this blog.
It all begins in Judges 3:15. Israel is asking for a deliverer from the evil Eglon, King of Moab, and the Lord sends them a man named Ehod who, it's important to note, is left-handed. Ehud is quite the clever one and in preparation for meeting the evil Eglon, he makes a special double edged sword. He's also quite violent, as it turns out.
The awesomeness begins when Ehud meets up with the evil Eglon who, as the text describes him in verse 17, is "a very fat man." Haha! Ouch.
But wait, there's more! Ehud makes his way into the evil Eglon's private quarters to deliver a "secret message" from God and there stabs him so thoroughly with his sword that Eglon's "fat closed in over it." You can't make this stuff up. Ehud makes a quick getaway out the window, leaving the evil Eglon dead in his room.
BUT, this story doesn't get truly awesome until Eglon's servants come by, and finding that the doors to his room are locked, assume he's "relieving himself." Naturally. Then, in verse 25, comes the kicker. "They waited to the point of embarrassment, but when he did not open the doors of the room, they took a key and unlocked them. There they saw their lord fallen to the floor, dead."
Wow. I start to feel a little bad for the evil Eglon. First, he's so fat that the sword he gets killed with disappears inside his flubber. Then, while he's laying dead in his room, his servants are outside thinking he's having bathroom troubles. AWKWARD!