McDonald's Miracle!

So last night in bed, sometime between asleep and awake, I started thinking about upcoming trips to the beach and how I'll want to bring my camera. I brought my old camera to the beach a number of times and just threw it in my beach bag so it ended up getting a bunch of sand in it. I decided I did not want this to happen to my new camera so I resolved to get a case for it; nothing special, just something to protect it a little. I'm pretty sure I contemplated for quite some time on exactly what kind of case I wanted, but I don't remember any of the specifics now. I just remember really hoping that when I actually woke up, I'd remember that I had this thought.

Fast forward to approximately 12:30pm today. I was eating at McDonald's with Emily and another coworker. Emily and I had both purchased Happy Meals and I was bitter because she got a new, cool Kung Foo Panda toy, while I as stuck with a left over Speed Racer toy. This isn't the first time I've been bitter over McDonald's toys. Anyway, my toy was this stupid pouch thing that I really didn't want. I've already gotten several Speed Racer pouches in various sizes. But upon closer inspection of my new one I had an epiphany: my camera would fit perfectly in this pouch. So I got my camera and sure enough, it fit just right. It's like this Speed Racer pouch was made for my camera. You can't tell me that God was not involved in this. I'm not sure what the lesson was. Maybe he, too is concerned about my camera staying sand-free.

Meanwhile the rest of my evening was not such a success. My shopping endeavor this evening was a complete disaster. Then on the way home, I was desperate for a Frosty Float from Wendy's, but when I pulled into the Wendy's by my house it was closed because of a power outage. Seriously? I guess God is not so keen on the Frosty Floats. He clearly hasn't tried one.

Summer!

It's finally kind of summer and I'm excited.

I almost died this weekend jumping into the freezing cold pool. My roommate and I stopped by my mom's to try out the pool, but alas, the heater is not working. So it's freezing cold. Nevertheless, my roommate jumped in. There's this crazy lady there (this is my mother's description. She's not really crazy, just super friendly, but in my family, friendly=crazy.) who swims all the time and she went on and ON about how proud she was of my roommate for jumping in and how excited she was. I thought she may post a photo of Grace on the front door of the clubhouse. Anyway, she got out quickly and that was that. But later as I sat in the sun on the edge of the pool I became very hot and decided it would be funny if I just rolled into the water. This was bad idea as I believe the hypothermia set in instantly. I was in the water for approximately 2 seconds. And that was my first swim of the summer.

Luckily, I made it to Centennial Beach on Sunday. My friend and I jumped in with the goal of at least swimming a short distance to the nearest wall. By the time we got to the wall we weren't too freezing cold so we continued around the pool and had a nice swim.

In other completely unrelated news, I recently read this amazing book called Mama for President: Good Lord, Why not? That's right, Mama from Mama's Family. It was on the free book shelf at work and, I ask you, how can one pass up such a fascinating book. So, Mama came up with an entire campaign plan, with slogans such as "An Old Broad for A New Day." Also, she wants Martha Stewart to be her secretary of defense. Brilliant. I'd vote for her.

Hush, Hush Sweet Stylist

This morning I went to Cost Cutters to get my hair cut. I like Cost Cutters because it doesn't feel quite as ghetto and some other cheap places and it's literally two minutes away from my house. It was a pretty busy morning and there was this one rather friendly middle-aged man (definitely the type that would be offended that I just called him middle-aged) who was rather smitten with the one super friendly, too dolled up for her mediocre job at Cost Cutters stylist. He insisted that she cut his and his teenage son's hair instead of having the overweight goth girl or the super casual, just got out of bed blond girl cut it, even if it meant waiting longer. Now I know it's not uncommon to ask for the same person if you like them, but when you're going to Cost Cutters and you have basically no hair, it's a little funny.

Anyway, I had the super casual blond girl cutting my hair and she was pleasant and did a good job, but as usual, she awkwardly attempted to make small talk even though it was clear I wasn't really interested. This has always been a pet peeve of mine. Frankly, I really don't care to engage in pointless conversation with the person cutting my hair. I have a hard enough time making conversation with my own friends! This annoyed me so much that, many years back, I came up with what is possibly my most brilliant business idea ever: a salon with no awkward small talk. The only questions the stylists will be allowed to ask are concerning one's hair. If the customer wants to start a conversation they're welcome to, but they can rest assured that their stylist won't ask them thoughtless questions about where they work, where they live, and if they have a boyfriend.

It even has a name: Sheer Silence.

No Really, Google is the Antichrist

I've said it before, but I really mean it this time. Google has officially come out with Google TV Ads. This is really disturbing to me for some reason. But also totally cool and I kind of want to make one.

Meanwhile, I know I haven't written on here in quite some time, but nothing interesting has happened. Right now I'm watching Neil Diamond on American Idol. I'm pretty sure I can't possibly get any lamer than that.

The good news is our crazy neighbors downstairs are getting kicked out. We finally called our landlord to complain about their insane fighting and plethora of crap strewn about, and he agreed and actually called them "the devil." Excellent. They should be out this month.

Mem'ries, Light the Corners of My Mind ...

This weekend was a bit of a trip down memory lane, and it got me thinking about some of the things I was obsessed with as a child. I figured you all might enjoy some insights into my early years. They may help explain why I am the way I am today. Maybe.

1. The Great Muppet Caper. This was my first memory lane trip this weekend. I was hanging out with my cousins and they happened to have this film, so we watched some of it. I was a little surprised that I remembered every moment like it was yesterday. I was intensely obsessed with this movie as a child, I’m not sure why. It's actually the only Muppets movie I’ve ever seen which is a crime, I realize.

2. Only a Boy Named David. There was this guy that I was in love with when I was approximately 4 years of age. He was probably in his 20’s. His name was David. I loved him dearly. In Sunday school we sang a nice little song about David and Goliath, but I thought it was about my David. Incidentally, I ran into him this weekend and my feelings for him have not changed in 20 years.

3. My Fair Lady. Possibly my most influential obsession and certainly one of the main reasons for my current love of old movies.

4. Red-headed Comedians. I have hundreds of I Love Lucy episodes taped from the marathons they did every New Year’s Day. I’m not sure I love it as much now, mostly because Ricky is such a huge disgusting jerk. I also loved The Carol Burnett Show, and basically wanted to be her. My favorite part was when she came out and talked to the audience. Lucy and Carol are the reason I told my 5th grade teacher that I wanted to be a comedian when I grew up.

5. Tom and Jerry. Wow, I loved Tom and Jerry. Still do. I’m not sure what I love so much about it seeing as basically every episode is the same. Tom chases Jerry, Jerry outsmarts him, Tom looks stupid. Pretty simple. But I spent countless hours enthralled by it. I think I liked that there was no talking; I could just listen to the music and watch the action. That’s really all I need in life. Ironically, since the cartoon was produced by MGM in the 40’s, I’ve come to find that many of songs they used in the show came straight out of some of my favorite MGM musicals! Amazing.

Crazy Neighbors: In Pictures

I decided to take some pictures of the various items that our crazy neighbors leave all over the place.


This is the newest addition to our garage; a collection of outdated political signs. These were never placed anywhere near our home during the actual elections, so I can only assume that they went around and stole them from other people's yards.


This is just a collection of various items.


That carpet cleaner in back is the only thing in the garage that belongs to us.


This is the side of the garage, featuring some ghetto old bikes, a motorcycle, some tires, and a garage motor.

I live in the Naperville ghetto.

St. Patrick's Day

I had a very nice St. Patrick's Day, despite the fact that I had no corned beef :(

It started on Sunday with Old Movie Night: St. Patrick's Day Edition featuring one of my favorite movies, The Quiet Man. We enjoyed some festive goodies, drank Green River, and (most of us) dressed up all green. We looked very festive, I'd say:


Monday afternoon CTI took over the McDonald's across the street where we enjoyed some free Shamrock Shakes. This was my first Shamrock Shake and it was good, but I couldn't finish it because it made me a little nauseous. But it was fun to crash the McDonald's with like 50 of my coworkers. We really confused the regulars.

This evening I paid a visit to my mother and came across the remnants of her St. Patrick's Day celebration:


Yep, that's a beer bottle in her treadmill cup holder.