Computer Paranoia

My computer at work has severe paranoia.

What happened was, my work computer broke on Tuesday. Well, it got some virus that wasn't detrimental, but should be removed. So Computer Services told me it was going to take an entire day to fix and asked if I had any vacation days coming up. I didn't, so I just decided to take yesterday off. I have a million vacation days to use up anyway.

So I come into work this morning and I have a brand spankin' new computer. Brand new for our company anyway, which means it's probably a few years old. I was very pleased nevertheless, considering my original computer was about a million years old and still had Windows 2000. I always knew the only way to get a new computer around this joint is to break the one you have, but I'm not computer savvy enough to break my computer without it looking intentional. Luckily, I managed to break it unintentionally ... or so they think.

My new computer is great. It's fast and it has Windows XP which is slightly less ugly than Windows 2000. But still ugly. Anyway, it has only one issue: Extreme Paranoia. This thing won't do anything without my consent. For example: I went to open an Access file from our company network. A little window popped up asking me if it was OK to open this file, seeing as whoever I got it from could be attempting to destroy my computer with their shady Access files. Of course it's OK to open it! I clicked through all the folders, found the specific file, and double clicked on it! What kind of idiot does this thing think I am?

Then I made the mistake of trying to use Outlook. I can't make a move in Outlook without it questioning me. Am I sure I want to open this email? Do I know that this email has an attachment that may ruin my computer beyond repair? Am I sure I want to view the images in this email? Do I know who this email is from? Am I sure I even want to receive emails? It might just be safer to use the phone.

Perhaps I can understand where it's coming from if it's aware of the plight of its predecessor. But I'm to the point where I don't even read the stupid warnings, I just click through them, thereby defeating the purpose. It's like the boy who cried wolf. It's just going to keep asking me about the most ridiculous things and I'm going to keep dismissing it until one day when there is an actual threat and I ignore it and my computer explodes. And I get a new computer.