Wednesday, May 2, 2007

Google is the Antichrist

I recently changed positions at my place of employment and I've lately been working with Google Adwords. I've become obsessed with reading blogs and message boards full of advertisers trying to figure out how Adwords works. The answer: nobody knows. Google doesn't even know for sure. They just keep rolling out new "features" so that we all think they have things under control. But they don't. Even still, countless numbers of advertisers are fighting with each other to show up on Google's search pages. Now that's power. As a result of all this new information, I've come to believe that, if they put their minds to it, Google could be the Antichrist, and here's why:

1. World Dominance. Google has basically infiltrated every aspect of our internet experience, and it won't be long until they spread throughout the entire world—internet or not. Anything you may want to do online, you can do through Google. If you want to send an email, you can use Gmail. If you want to advertise, use Adwords, make money; AdSense, start a blog; Blogger, shop; Froogle. If you want to make sure you don't miss the new Dilbert comic every day, add it to your personalized Google homepage. It's all too easy and fun to resist.

2. Evil. The amount of money they're making is a sin. And the amount of information they have on every user is disturbing.

3. Brilliance.

Now where I come from, world dominance+evil+brilliance=Antichrist.

Disclaimer: I do not actually think Google is the Antichrist. I'm just saying that if they wanted to, they could be. I actually love Google, and I never cease to be amused and excited by the latest useless feature they introduce that I never knew I needed.


Tina said...

Thanks for writing this.

Lynn said...

This is good information, however, I believe that the antichrist is indeed a boy that I know. Here is why...There are 46 profecies that the antichrist will fullfill. At the age of 15 (16 in february) These are the ones he's already fulfilled:

#1:1. The antichrist will be a man - Daniel 7:24-25

#2:8. He was, and is not, and yet is - Revelations 17:8

#3:11. He will have a mouth speaking great things. Very boastful - Daniel 7:8

#4:12. His look will be more stout than his fellows - Daniel 7:20

#5:14. He will understand puzzling things - Daniel 8:23

#6:18. He opposes God - 2 Thessalonians 2:4

#7:19. He will speak marvelous things against the God of gods - Daniel 11:36

#8:20. He will exalt himself above all that is called God - 2 Thessalonians 2:4

#9:21. He will sit in the temple of God - 2 Thessalonians 2:4

#10:22. He will claim to be God (or an incarnation of God) - 2 Thessalonians 2:4

#11:27. This time of Great Tribulation is launched upon the Earth by the antichrist at the Abomination of Desolation. - Matthew 24:15,21.

#12:35. He will prosper in everything that he does - Daniel 8:24

and last of all...

#13:36. He will not regard the God of his fathers - Daniel 11:37

Because of these reasons, I truley believe that i know the antichrist...infact, I am in love with him...

Kara said...

I just thought I'd let you know I looked this up and re-read it this morning. Nicely done.

OH, and in case you're curious, when I typed "Google is the antichrist" into *ahem* Google, your post came up 4th on the list of things to click. I didn't even have to scroll down to find it. Even better. ;)

Web Designer Brisbane said...

We have to remember that not so long ago Yahoo and Altavista were the big players in this industry. There is no guarantee that Google will be the search engine of choice in a few years.

Imagine if Yahoo, Bing or some cashed-up new comer convinced Facebook or Twitter to have a neutral search box in the right sidebar? Game over maybe?